INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS
Negative experiences leave emotions, beliefs, and sensations in the body that are locked away. Coping strategies are developed to protect against these negative experiences from being re-experienced again. Once there for protection, these coping strategies no longer help and may even conflict with each other, leaving one in chronic stuckness, impacting relationships with oneself and others. Through Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, these coping strategies can be understood as 'parts' burdened with the responsibility to help the original negative experience. There are three types of burdened parts:
BURDENED MANAGERS
These are the protective parts (coping strategies) that bring security by being proactive and controlling. They are responsible for keeping it all together. Focused on stability, they fear that relinquishing control will lead to worse outcomes. Managers protect against anything that leads to vulnerability, distress, or instability.
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eg: Controlling, planning, achieving, analyzing, worrying, criticizing, shaming, judging, manipulating, caretaking, people pleasing, submissive, avoiding, blocking, numbing, tuning out, denying, rejecting, etc.
BURDENED FIREFIGHTERS
These are the protective parts (coping strategies) who are very reactive to stop distress quickly. Without thinking, they are immediate and jump into action to stop danger cues automatically. Consequences don’t matter as they only care about immediate comfort. Firefighters are effective in removing stressors fast.
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eg: Anger, shutting down, dissociating, distracting, panic attacks, cutting and self-harm, attempting suicide, abusing substances, addictive behaviours like overspending, bingeing, TV/social media, pornography, etc.
BURDENED EXILES
These are the wounded parts that Managers and Firefighters are protecting. Exiles are the "inner children" who have experienced hurt and attachment injuries. Stuck in the past, Exiles carry wounds that need to be healed and seen in the present, but they're suppressed by the managers and firefighters' coping strategies.
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eg: They carry wounds that feel: shameful, not mattering, not good enough, worthlessness, unlovable, being too much, dependency, loneliness, rejection, abandonment, taken advantage of, trauma, insecurity, etc.
PATH TO HEALING
The goal of therapy through IFS is to understand the good reasons behind all these parts and help them unburden their extreme roles and become more Self-led. With the unburdening of the protector parts (Managers and Firefighters), one can get out of stuck cycles and live a life with more harmony and balance. Protectors will ease their extreme roles once the parts they are protecting (Exiles) are seen and healed.
"All protectors aim to keep emotional pain out of awareness and don't understand that banishing vulnerable parts increases their panic and pain. When exiled parts panic and manage to break into awareness, protectors simply double down on excluding them. This repetitive, draining dynamic consumes a great deal of mental and emotional energy." (Herbine-Blank & Sweezy)
The length of therapy is guided by how much these burdened parts can let go of their extreme agendas and trust the Self to be the source of internal reassurance and guidance. Parts that were once stuck in old roles can now become:
UNBURDENED MANAGERS
Take on a balanced approach to daily responsibilities. Are effective and collaborative, encouraging other parts and people. Advocate for growth, becoming more accepting and nurturing.
UNBURDENED FIREFIGHTERS
Signal the Self directly when stress levels are high. Use effective self-soothing activities and diversions. Advocate for fairness and stand up to injustice. Lend courage and confidence to act bravely in challenging situations. Have the confidence to risk and take on challenges that were once too scary.
UNBURDENED EXILES
Can experience vulnerability as strength, advocating for connection and care. Feel secure with Self as primary caretaker, feeling freer to reach out to others. Offer intuitions about others’ feelings. Enjoy being open and trusting.
Discovering the SELF
In IFS, the Self can be considered the "inner adult." It inherently embodies the 8Cs of IFS: Clarity, Confidence, Calm, Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Connectedness and Creativity. There is comfort, balance, harmony, and acceptance within oneself and others. The Self doesn’t need improvement as it exists in everyone and only needs to be uncovered. The journey of rediscovering this inner source of security can be understood with the following visual:
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​When wounded parts remain unhealed, a person can be flooded with stress, being highly vulnerable and easily triggered, requiring constant vigilance and energy from their blended protector parts. The path to healing is to unblend from stuck parts to find an inner source of security from the Self.
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"The times when you are able to separate and speak from a Self-led place despite the incredible drive to remain blended with an old protector role become key moments of growth. Recognize those key moments... when every muscle and nerve in your body is pulling you toward your old set of responses, and yet a new force lifts you up off the accustomed track toward deliberate, constructive action -- toward repair." (Schwartz)
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Two great books to learn more about your parts and this healing process:
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No Bad Parts
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You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For
Source: Walsh and Pastor
"What can I expect from therapy?"
You will go through three stages of growth as you move down the Continuum of Self:
STAGE 1: STABILIZATION
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Increased awareness of emotional responses to stress, as well as interactions with others
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Improved emotional balance and wider window of tolerance; more flexibility, less numbing/reactivity
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A reduction of symptoms, e.g., less anxiety, depression, anger
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Stuck patterns become more clear as conflicting parts begin to unblend, allowing for a newer sense of Self
STAGE 2: RESTRUCTURING
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Vulnerability is experienced as strength
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Can move into deeper levels of experience for longer periods
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A more accurate awareness of felt emotional experiences
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Rather than seeking external reassurance, security comes from the Self for improved self-regulation
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A more authentic experience of Self arises, becoming more responsive and adaptive
STAGE 3: CONSOLIDATION
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Increased flexibility with others and Self takes shape
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Deeper confidence with new behavioural responses
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Relapse of old patterns is predicted and prepared for
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Instead of isolation or criticism, one can be open for support and find Self-worth and assurance from within
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Can move from chaos to order, reactivity to balance, from self-denial to self-acceptance, from helplessness to agency
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Can become Self-led with their internal parts and embody the qualities of the 8Cs in IFS - Calm, Clarity, Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Connectedness, Confidence, and Creativity​
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Source: Johnson, Campbell, Schwartz
"If one has no internal sense of security, it is difficult to determine the difference between safety and danger." Bessel van der Kolk
RESOURCES
This video is a must watch. A valued IFS colleague, Dr. Tori Olds, shares how IFS Therapy understands trauma and uses the techniques of unblending from parts to help heal trauma and gain freedom from "emotional flashbacks." Tori has a great series about healing through IFS on her YouTube Channel. It's powerful and brilliant! Watch her videos about 'schemas' and 'memory reconsolidation' as well.
In this interview with Gabor Maté, he explores the impact of suppressing one's internal needs (authenticity) to seek out external acceptance by others (attachment).
In this second interview with Gabor Maté, he talks about his book The Myth of Normal and the impacts of trauma.
This interview is a similar but shorter version of the longer interview above on Authenticity and Attachment.
This episode explores the intersection of Polyvagal Theory, neuroscience, and attachment with Deb Dana. We will investigate how the mind creates stories from information relayed by the nervous system, and how we can rewrite the script to move toward security.
Stress isn’t always a bad thing; it can be handy for a burst of extra energy and focus. But when it’s continuous, it actually begins to change your brain. This short video shows how chronic stress can affect brain size, its structure, and how it functions, right down to the level of your genes.
A short and powerful video by Dr. Bruce Perry that explores how stress response patterns can either become a protective factor or a risk factor.
When triggered we react without thinking about the consequences, often causing ruptures in our relationships. Dr. Bruce Perry explains the reasons behind our reactions.
The guest for this podcast is Dr. Schwartz, the developer of the Internal Family Systems model. Among the topics addressed are the Dual Nature of Self, Self’s “Agenda,” IFS as a Constraint-Release Model, Self as the Agent of Healing, the wisdom of Self, Self’s Development, Trauma and Self, Self and the Body, Restoring Trust in Self, and Self and Vulnerability.